Why, Hello There!

I really don’t have anything to say at the moment, but I feel like I need to write something in order to get back up to speed on my blogging.  I’ve lost sight of the blog, of my reading, my writing, and I’m trying to focus on those things again.  So let’s just call this an I’m-back post.  Hopefully I will stay back and not wander off for a year or so again.

I’ve been quite busy in the time I’ve not been blogging.  I have two jobs now, one as an adjunct instructor of English and Literature and one as a grant writer/public educator/advocate for a nonprofit in the next town over.  I really love both of them.  It’s so great to have a job (or a couple) where I am in charge of what I’m doing, as opposed to a job where I am at someone else’s beck and call all day long.  It’s also great to have the opportunity to work as a writer.  It’s funny, because my dad was always really resistant to my following that path because he said there was no money in it, I wouldn’t be able to support myself.  I believed that for a long time, and not just because he said so, but because the world kind of tells you that.  You’re not supposed to take risks or do something different.  Instead, you’re supposed to find a traditional job at a traditional business, and you’re supposed to work there until you retire or your position is outsourced.  Heck, even the advice you get about MFA writing programs tells you not to pursue the degree if you’re looking to make money.  But here I am, doing rather well, thank you, because I’ve been able to parlay that degree into a means to earn a living.  So, yes, take risks.  Do what you love, the money will follow.  All that.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not raking it in hand over fist. But I’m making a good living, and I’m enjoying what I do for the first time in my life.

As a result of these changes, though, I’ve lost sight of my reading and writing.  Yesterday I had a wonderful discussion with my friend, Debbie, about Hillary Jordan’s Mudbound, one of the best books I’ve read in some time.  We had a book group before I left Phoenix, and talking to Debbie yesterday made me realize how much I missed that.  We’re planning our next book now, and I’m looking forward to taking that up again.
I’ve also been trying to make a point to write some fiction.  I worked with a lawyer years ago who wrote screenplays on the side.  When I asked him why he wasn’t pursuing that more actively, since he said he loved doing it, he said, “I have talent, but no ambition.”  I kind of feel that way, and it kind of makes me sad.  I feel like I’m a pretty good writer, but I simply am not driven to write fiction and get it out there.  I go in fits and starts, where I’ll research markets and send a bunch of stories out and get rejected or get published, and then I lose interest until the next time.  I actually forgot to read one story I had published; it was live for a month or so before I remembered to go look at it.  And it was a fine journal that I was proud to be included in.  I just lack that drive, for some reason.

I did, however, start fooling around with something interesting a couple of nights ago.  I’m not going to talk about it except to put on virtual paper that it exists, because I don’t want to jinx anything, or write myself out by writing about it instead of actually writing the piece itself.  It has potential to “go long,” though, as my mentor, David Carkeet, used to say about novels versus short stories.  So we’ll see where that goes.

That’s what I’ve got.  Things are great here on the farm.  Tom’s been off work for the past few months, or off traditional work. He’s been working incredibly hard around here, building the screen porch I’ve been wanting, winnowing down the monster pile of wood we had as a result of the storm a couple years ago that took out our beautiful old hackberry tree and our garage.  He has enough wood split for at least all of this winter and next.  His latest project is pulling up the hideous carpet in the guest room and our bedroom to reveal beautiful wood flooring.  I will never understand why people do that.  He’s also doing some really artistic work with deer skulls.

So that’s where I am right now.  Hopefully this post will kick-start me into writing on a regular basis, and writing something that’s a bit more interesting, profound, insightful, whatever.  Fingers crossed.  All that.

 

Our Boo

Read Full Post »

Reading

I’m getting all into reading lately.  I should probably clarify that: I’ve always been a big reader, but since I spent the bulk of the last decade in school, my reading-for-pleasure train kind of got derailed.  While I’ve never been a fast reader—nor do I want to be—I was always a steady, consistent one, moving from book to book to book, always reading something, always moving forward.  Now I’m still always reading something, but my forward movement has been awfully slow.  That bothers me.

Things got in the way, legitimately got in the way.  School, as I said.  A thousand-mile move away from all things familiar.  That creeping bout of depression I had last year (all better, Ms. H!).  Current affairs.

That last one is bigger than it should be.  I was one of those people who got all involved in politics this past election.  I cared.  I worked hard.  I—okay, yeah, I wanted change.  Now I see I’m not going to get it, or at least the kind of change I wanted, and that frustrates me no end.  I’m becoming really cynical about the whole political process.  I listen to these idiots—you know, I’m stopping right here, because this is what happens.  I begin the litany of what’s wrong, what’s not being fixed to my liking, and I get all in a lather, all upset.  That leads to my surfing around the Internets to find more information on that topic, to read bills pending on it, to email my senators which is a totally pointless task because they don’t flipping care.  I mean, one of them is Ben Nelson.  I emailed him a while back about confirming Dawn Johnsen to the Office of Legal Counsel, and he emailed me back to assure me he shared my concerns about federal funding for abortion.   Not only are Ben and I not on the same page, we’re not even in the same library.

So.  I’m done with that business.  I will keep abreast of current events, but I won’t delve into them.  Instead, I’m going to focus on reading all the good writing that’s out there.  I’m deleting all but a couple political sites from my NetNewsWire feed list and replacing them with feeds from sites like Bookslut and The Millions and with blogs devoted to reading and writing. I want to read the books the big publishers aren’t necessarily embracing—short story collections, literary journals, narrative nonfiction, books from small, independent presses.  Books like these.

So this is what I’ll devote the bulk of my time to:  writing, reading and, if all continues to go well, teaching.  It seems I’m moving toward a life more and more centered on the written word, and it feels like coming home.

Read Full Post »